i never EVER thought i'd make it this far. i haven't been on here in close to a year and i miss it. i guess i've been officially diagnosed "an anoretic" by my doctors, 108lbs at 5'9" and haven't gotten my period since may. i still wanna lose another 10-15 or so but the changes i've noticed feel so satisfying. i can see my shoulder blades through my sweatshirt, when i stand up straight my spine remains visible. my hipbones jut out and poke sharply into my laptop in a comforting way. i love it and i can't get enough. next goal? 98lbs. i got itttt....i hope. i don't talk about my ED with anyone, i essentially live inside my own head. i live and breathe this shit and it's sad but so satisfying. it took 4 years to finally "get the hang of it". exhausting but rewarding, twisted but i've made my choice. here's a few pictures showing my "progress" over the last few months, they new ones suck but i'll take more...

125lbs, july



 
120lbs, august
...yeah i have a belt around my waist ~optical allusion


115lbs, september

110lbs, september

108lbs, december


not thin enough...
<3

i'm already sick but i need to be sicker. i want to be sicker. why?

i just ate like 1/2 a piece of garlic bread and i started crying. how fucking pathetic. now i'm laughing because of how ridiculous my ED makes me sometimes. garlic bread=~the end of the world~

b-english muffin, coffee 160
l-bites here and there 90
d-big salad w/ dressing, coke zero 250
ughhh popcorn, but just a tad 100
600





night!

my sister and her boyfriend just told me i look emaciated and scary thin. fuck yeah (?). so i am doing something right...

my dad was the only one who was like "this is how she wants to look, so let her look this way." i don't know what to take from that...but i fucking love this feeling.

cw-still 118
bmi-17.4

i was going to stop calculating my intake bc i was doing well without the extra hassle but what the hell:
b-1/2 fiber english muffin+peanut butter=150cals
coffee-30cals
180

i'm at my lowest weight, BMI=17.4  total weight loss of 23lbs. since september.


it's finally become effortless.
i love it.